Although I was taken to my table by knife point and then asked to pay in “gold coins” I was completely and underly satified with the experience at cheesy beards and in no way shape or form being forced to write this review by threat of killing my goldfish. i will gladly and not forcfully recommend cheesy beards to all of my friends. and may I stress once again stress that I was never and am not black mailed into writing this at all.
I went there tonight and I think the food is tasting better than it normally does (no hairs!). I was actually able to eat my food this time without having a horrible taste left in my mouth. Maybe they gave the cook a raise…he seemed pretty happy.
About a week or so ago I went into this establishment to get a Booty Burger, but they took forever to get the order done.
So I sneaked into the kitchen area to find out what the hell was taking so long, seeing as I was the only customer and what did I find, a long-hair greasy kid who looked strangely like this crap gay model called Finn Smulder playing bowling with a Chicken. I promptly left
I was excited for the theme at Cheesybeards, but the workers other than Ollie need to act more pirate-y. The creativity of the food names is cool except when it sounds gross (Syphilis and Scallops – WHY?!?).
But yeah, food was average at best. I go for the garrrrlic fries.
Overall, a great experience. Even though I had to “walk the plank” after I sent back my burger, and the bathroom was just a whole in the ground. The food really did taste like pirates made it. I am also astonished on how lovely the owner of the establishment was to let me walk out alive. Thanks guys, I will definitely recommend.
Ok…so …I came back to give the place a second try and I must agree with some of the other customers…if that redheaded lassie in the back continues to work there, I might keep coming back just to get a glimpse of her…that being said…love the website you cute redheaded lassie…
Ok….will you go out with me now? Somehow I think the answer is still no…
My family and I recently wandered into your establishment to enjoy a themed lunch. We love pirates ^_~ And well- it just wasn’t the experience or the quality we were expecting. Your employee morale is lackluster at best. As soon as we walked through the door, we were greeted by the hostess who couldn’t have cared less about her job and then again we got the same type of treatment from our waitress! Plus, my two-year old can cook better than whoever it is in your kitchen. Sadly, all we were offered at the table were three plates full of grease and char. Your staff’s morale definitely needs an overhaul. I mean, yes, your job sucks, but have at least some pride in what you do! It could always be worse. You could be mucking around in sewage all day and coming home at night stinking to high heaven… Blargh >_<
Are you hiring? I’ve applied at every other dump in this stupid town and this is the only place left. I have no problem with ignoring people, procrastinating, being rude, and love to watch people suffer from eating awful food! (makes me giggle when they get bubble guts!) Therefore I know I will fit in perfectly! I don’t really feel the need to attach my resume since I just told you that I can do what all the rest of your dumb employees do. SOOOOOOO, I’ll start monday ok?! P.S. I will need my paycheck in advance…I need a new laptop….
Can I just point out that a squid is not technically a vegetable, and is not normally served as a salad, Its also usually a bit less raw and doesn’t normally try to crawl off the plate and into you lap. Thus my suprise when it was placed in front of me, I hope you can forgive my over-reaction and if you write off the damages resulting from the unfortunate fracas which followed, I will go quietly back to the UK and have my injuries treated with no more said on the matter. To end on a positive note the dressing appeared to be very inventive. Is it meant to glow quite that colour or is it to help the squid to orientate in the ambient light?
Greetings Cheesy Beards Inc.! I represent Emagine Internet Marketing, an advertising company that specializes in getting small businesses large results via digital and traditional marketing methods. No offense to your current web designer, (one Cyd Sherman, I believe) but your current site could benefit from our extensive expertise. With our help, you could take Cheesy Beards global! Take a look at our portfolio to see what we’ve done with other small businesses to grow their online presence. Oh, and by the way, I learned while researching your business and website that your current webmaster spends most of her time at work playing a massively multiplayer online game, one that I couldn’t quite identify.
Aaargh ye ready to be seasick?
Worse date place ever.
Been going with my girl Chelsea for nearly a year and we were driving by and desperate for something to eat. So I ordered the Aarghburger and Chelsea had the Veggie Jones’ Locker. Well my order came extra charcoal crispy not medium like I asked, and when I complained to the waitress she roles her eyes and thenturns to my girl and says “Honey, you can do a lot better than this guy.” The next night, I’m going to pick up my girl and I see her leaving her house wearing our panda suit and getting into the back of a windowless white van. What the hell??? I’m never coming back!
Well maybe on Fridays the Garrrrrrrrrlic fries cause they were really good
I had the soggy-dog and the garrrlic fries, and wasn’t too long till I was on a road that had a shiny demon in the middle of it, and then a crazy middle-aged white guy in green armor charged at me saying I spoiled his cabbage…
After that experience I will be a return customer! Like now, I need more food, from you guys…
Well.. while the food was less than expected.. Imust admit the service was what stood out… Where was everyone!?!? If I had to guess, it seemed like everyone was pressed into service in the Kitchen like lil powder monkeys… Still, the food that hair netted SCAdian kid made a heck of a burger…
The red head that they seemed locked up in the office seemed nice… shame that she didnt come out of the office to smile. More smiling faces would have made the visit complete…
Loved the garlic fries, should keep those Twilight fans at bay! In the meantime it would have been nice to have some thematic music, like this jolly lad for instance… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RobxmZTwjIs.
I think it would help your business if you guys didn’t have such sporadic hours–like, being open at 7 AM may not be the best choice for a burger joint. Maybe just 12-12 would be good–and what’s with being open 2 and 1/2 hours on Sunday? O_o Soooo…just some advice. And tell the red head I totally play on the same server she does!
I have been going to this establishment for a few days repeatedly at exactly noon to order their horribly unsanitary food just to get a glimpse of that beautiful redhead whenever she walks out of the office.
So enchanting she takes my breath away (or maybe its the food) but she should be a princess not some number cruncher. If only I had something to offer a girl like that but alas I am humble Electronics Engineer who spends his time playing video games and using his many powerful supercomputers to program robots and build prototype exosuits.
Maybe if I was to come into the store in a full combat Exosuit she might find me appealing atleast until I take off the mask that is.
CODEX! I need an update on your gold earnings for our guild hall, stat!
By the way, if there is any food that is to be disposed of at the close of your shift, please collect it in a sanitary food receptacle and deposit it with Zaboo.
I hope to meet Vork one day, we have so much in common. That would require leaving the rent-free former crackhouse I stay in. Creepybeards is not good and I want to punch the cook in his Bieber-ific face!
Now I want to come to port, just to visit “Cheesy Beards”, but me ship’s gotta leak and I needs to find more tar to patch. That will blow my whole budget unless ya sell tar too (at a reasonable exchange rate). Shiver me timbers, gotta go, the pump man just died. I don’t want to sink.
my friends and I went to cheesy beards when we were visiting the city for the first time. At first glance the menu options initially scared one of my friends but we insisted on eating there. We tried the peg leg mac and cheese as the opening entree and we quickly realized we were trying a very uniquely prepared platter. We then had the squid salad. Normally that would freak most people out but we’re pretty cultured and it was delicious-kinda like sushi except raw as nature intended. The soggy dog was what caught my eye and I was amazed to see it was in fact soggy, almost slimy. By now the other people sitting alongside me were starting to feel sick from our main plates but I kept on. To avoid scurvy we ordered the oranges as our sides. Once we left we spent the rest of our vacation in the hospital getting our stomachs pumped. But I’d go again 3 of 10 stars. Great site btw
Yarrggghhh. Indigestion is better than scurvy. That’s why all the fish come with lemon on em, right?? By the way, I don’t think I’ll be having the pirate paddy again. I stopped eating when I saw something move in it. I’d have appreciated a refund instead of a gift certificate. Oh, and the guy in the back with the long hair spit in my food. I saw him.
All I can say is that the garlic fries are the bomb!! It’s why I keep coming back. Of course, I’ve started breaking out and gained a little weight… my girlfriend won’t sleep in the same bed because I smell like garlic..but keep up the good work.. more garlic fries!!!
As a connoisseur of palatable delights, I must say, Cheesy Beards offers an unusual, yet interestingly edible fare. Pirate’s Hats off to the handsome, young, longhaired netted cook in the galley! ARRRRR
okay let me say i <3 you codex! the character.. felicia youre probally a bee itch in real life =o although you are a cutie, with some of the cutest breast ive ever seen, and umm .. this website was clever, love the webshow, umm.. i think you guys tried to hard though kinda cuts down on the funny.. like anyone ever tell you a joke you chuckle but didnt crack up so they started explaining it to you kinda kills the joke and makes you feel stupid for laughing in the first place.. so that i blend in with the other idiots lolz poopy brown webpage ewww grosque menue harharargh! burger with a cutlass and pirate eye and limbs roflmfsaolrisf.
Thank the heavens above that all I ordered was the garrrrrrrrrlic fries and a water. The fries certainly weren’t amazimg, but they did happen to be passable. Barely. But I would NOT even touch the water. I swear, it must’ve been bilge water! And the ice was filled with who knows what. Ugh.
My poor beau, on the other hand, is a red meat lover, and he ordered the aarghburger. Well, he might become a vegan after eating that disgusting piece of work pretending to be a burger. He has been sick ALL week! Why hasn’t anyone called the health inspector or something yet?
My recommendation? Simple. Forget this place ever existed. You’ll be much better off that way.
I saw the commercial and the youtube video of that kid and came to Cheesybeards because I thought it would be ironic and filled with hipster chicks of easy virtue. That was an error. I ordered a Booty Burger. While I was waiting, the waitress came out and tried to serve another patron a burger. I saw him pick it up, look at it, smell it, and then reject it because it was really burnt and looked like it had been sitting on the floor for an hour. Instead of taking it back to the kitchen she tried serving it to me! When I wouldn’t bite she went to the kitchen and there was a lot of yelling in there.
Also I think the head pirate guy is faking being handicapped which is so not cool.
So, I just found out that the Sleepy-looking feather-haired greasy kid who “works” here killed my lil brother in game, so I would like to challenge him on a 1 on 1 pvp match! rogue vs rogue, if he has the stones…
My WoW account is down at the moment and my wife pointed in the direction of the guild website! to ease my withdrawal. A bad day got better, loved it and p.s. when I leave the Army can I get a job at cheesy beards? I’ll work for scraps off the floor lol
I was perusing The Guild on Facebook, clicked on Info, skimmed through the websites, and saw this link. Not believing my eyes, I clicked on it and found myself here. On the Homepage, I started laughing so hard I fell off a piano bench.
After recovering, I started to click on the links to the side. Lo and behold, I find the menu. MMM, if those names don’t make you hungry, I don’t know what does!
Was able to log onto your wifi for my raid (I was driving around in my van looking for internet…), and I didn’t really notice what I was eating. Except it sort of looked like something I make with my level 180 cooking skill…
I was recently trying to burglarise your restaurant but got bitten by the cat-sized rat that lives in the greasetrap that hasn’t been emptied for 32 years. The flesh eating virus is crawling towards my knees…
The restaurant smelled like smoke and brimstone, the decor gave me a headache, the food tasted like a public telephone, and I lost one of my shoes in an attempt to use the men’s room. I was badly frightened the entire time I was there, my date stood me up, and the feather head kid flipped me off.
All in all, the best restaurant I’ve been to in some time.
I got a Booty Burger and some Shiver me Taters about a month ago; not only was it the BEST burger iv’e had, but I recommended it to all my friends. I didn’t plan my budget for an outing this month, but wait till October, I’ll be back.
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