Cheesy Beards


Please make sure to put up a review for us at this link.

Also fill out our guestbook and let us know what you think of our establishment. Matey.

This Guestbook is full.

222 Responses to “Guestbook”

  1. Mike D.

    HA! This is GREAT!!! The second I heard Codex say the url, I just had to check it out and see if there was a site up. Keep up the amazing work!

  2. Mike D.

    Oh and P.S.: FIRST

  3. Swordzz

    yea, i think that the restaurant sucks, mostly coz of the idiot who made this website!1 she shud just quit, i no there must be a bettr person 2 do it, like that very handsome fry-cook.

  4. Swordzz


  5. Huck

    Do you deliver FREE?

  6. Jade

    Food was worthy of a dejected arr. (3:45)

  7. The One True b!X

    This website looks like it was designed as long ago when I’m pretty sure you must have bought your ground beef.

  8. Amanda K

    I liked the idea of the whole theme… but to be honest the food sucks.

  9. AlanD

    As a research fellow at USC Medical, I’ve found Cheesybeards to be an indispensable source of material for my dissertation on dysentery.

  10. tonewaugh

    I have a bone to pick. After eating your Booty Burger, my timber started shivering and hasn’t stopped. This isn’t funny!

  11. David H

    I would especially recommend the cheesyburgers…the best thing about this restaurant is that it’s open late so I can get a cheesyburger to take home after a night out!!!

  12. Jessica S

    The chicken of the sea, like, didn’t taste very much like chicken. πŸ™

  13. Araxyia

    Can the feathered hair kid get me my booty burger already!!

  14. Saturn Girl

    Warning to all patrons who order the Sharkbait Stew – those aren’t clams, they’re wads of chewing gum. Stay away!

  15. GrrAargh

    Cheese gougers!

  16. chii

    OMG they actually used Comic Sans! This Cyd Sherman should do their homework and give this site a design upgrade.
    Food at the place is okay, when I am hungry I’ll eat almost everything πŸ˜‰

  17. bnorwood

    Wow, the blinking “write a review for us” link on the main page sent me big time flashbacking to the late 90s. Good stuff.

  18. TymTravlur

    Wow! I haven’t been to CheesyBeard’s in seems like forever!!
    Howcome the Cardiac Keel Haul (Aaarghburger fondue) isn’t on the menu anymore?

  19. Amy

    I found a hook in my burger…. Who can I send my medical bill to?

  20. TymTravlur

    Someone should start a “bring back the Cardiac Keel Haul (Aarghburger fondue)” campaign!

  21. Timmy

    The girl in the office is smokin’ hot. Too bad; I doubt that she’s a gamer.

  22. Kenny M

    I thought Shiver Me Taters sounded pretty good.. I mean I love potatoes… um.. well cooked that is. Didn’t expect raw potatoes on ice. ewww!!! And was the Meade suppose to have chunks in it???

  23. gblotter

    Cheesy Beards food is a leaky disaster. Tastes like butt-pirate butt.

    It’s like drinking bilge water on the poop deck.

  24. UnXiled

    I love Cheesy Beards. Best gaaarlic fries ever. Everyone sing the Cheesy Beards jingle.

  25. Andy

    Please get the lazy greasemop out of the kitchen. From what I remember, the popularity of the restaurant tanked after he was hired. I miss getting garlic fries that actually taste like garlic fries. On a side note, comic sans is upsetting to the soul… along with flashing text and improperly fitted backgrounds.

  26. Moo

    Since Vork knows all those color hex codes, he can probably help you with your HTML, too.

  27. Kris

    Well, the “pirate theme” of this restaurant might be the fakiest fake ever (the waitresses canΒ΄t even pronounce “yarr” properly!!!) but the scurvy that my co-worker got – after eating lunch there for a few weeks – was very realistic.
    So, props for that.

  28. KaptainAnnoying

    As a fellow Captain, I find your use of Comic Sans both inspiring and annoying. I stopped by and had the Aarrghh burger (with cheese), and the Gaaarrrlic fries.

    My teeth went aaaarrrrgghhh trying to bite the hockypuck that is your burger, mashed between melted cheese, brown lettuce and pickles, and a sauce that I could not define. The bun was soggy yet garlic stinky from the oil floating off the garlic fries which were suprisingly tasty.

    Kudos on the Annoying sounds playing from the speakers, and the screams I hear in the kitchen as the employees aaarrrggue. The waitress was properly dejected.

  29. Tom

    Whatever you do, don’t order the Syphilis and Scallops.

  30. n00b

    your food is great, as long as you don’t touch, smell, see or taste it! thought the garrrrrrrrrlic fries tasted decent… except now i think i have dysentery. arrrrgh!

  31. MabDarling

    I think that cute guy in the back spit on my burnt food… but seriously, call me, I left my number on the table.

  32. monkeysnott

    i absolutely loved the garlic frys!

  33. LongTimePlankWalkerFirstTimePoster

    Can I place delivery orders online (and have them delivered to someone else)?

  34. Chrissteena

    I’m all over the garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlic fries. I thought it was pretty good. But there was a long, flowing hair in my burger.

    Did you guys hear about that new movie that came out, it’s rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

  35. Snavorke

    Today is my birthday. If my friends and I come in, will you sing to me?

  36. Pongidae

    Hey snavorke…if you’re a cute red head I’ll sing to ya.

  37. Vittorio

    Is the Peg-leg Mac and Cheese supposed to be crunchy? Maybe I’ll specify with less Peg-leg next time. Also, someone conveniently stuck a hamburger patty in my muffler. I’m looking at you HAIRNET! I’ll be seeing you in court!

  38. Not Bruiser

  39. Aster

    Mama always told me, if you don’t have anything nice to say…

  40. nelzaar

    OMG this is awesome the butt pirate but comment is ACTUALY there XD

  41. Rockfish

    Modern day pirates be needin’ wifi. Yarr!

  42. Livak

    What is up with this restaurant? You guys need to spruce up the place! Add some decor like cannons and swords on the walls, no wonder everyone hates your place, its more boring than a blank webpage! Also, what is with that gay looking bus boy, maybe if he didn’t look emo I would spend my money here again!

  43. Angel

    nice you really made this website. lol!

  44. TheCBass

    5 out of 5 restaurant! The hate here is so odd. I think the food here is delicious, this is the only restaurant I’ve gone to!

    Keep up the good work cook!

  45. ollie armor


  46. Lyss

    Loved the Cheesy Beards Cosmo….only thing on the menu worth ordering!

    Always funny to watch someone try to eat the Prepare To Be Loaded…..though it should be renamed the Prepare to be Bloated!

  47. Keith

    I think the Scurvy Fries gave me Scurvy. :<

  48. Bucky the Girl

    What kind of freak uses Comic Sans? Obviously the ginger kind.

  49. Captain Raccoon

    This food gave me diARRRRRhea.

  50. M

    I love cheesy beards! Oh wait… never been there.

  51. Alene

    Awesome!! I love cheesy beards!!

  52. JJ

    Yeah the readhead in the back is hot. Do you think the carpet matches the drapes? I guess the real question is whether it’s shag or hardwood.

    The fries ain’t awful.

  53. seleenermparis

    Do you deliver?! ROFLOL. I wish this were a real restaurant. I would totally go…that steak meal sounds like the challenge.

  54. conor

    Is Cheesybeards hiring? lol lol

  55. George

    man i get enough garrrlic fries !!

  56. bwjenkins

    I’d like the Apple on a Hook, please.

  57. Micky

    Awesome. Can’t wait to see what pops up here next.

  58. Coldphyre

    I’d love to visit if I was anywhere nearby. The site looks great, just a couple of edits to really polish it up. πŸ˜‰

  59. psyanide

    Hilarious menu names….. but GOOD GOD… OH GOD WHY…. DO NOT EAT THE SYPHILIS AND SCALLOPS .

    PS: Fire that greasy waiter boy.

  60. Jade

    the link provided for reviews isnt open to residents of australia 😐 unable to leave review, shame too, the girly boy made some awesome fries and my burger didnt even taste like floor

  61. Orpheus

    OMG… I loved the “I used to be a musician” comment! Dr. Horrible ftw!

  62. Ian

    This sounds like an interesting place to eat. Next time me and my crew arrrr in town, we’ll stop by in for some Avast Me Meaty and Garrrrlic fries. πŸ™‚

    LOL, just kiddin’! I hear the food is terrible!

    PS My buddy says there’s a cute new girl that works in the back. Is she available? She looks kinda shy. Does she not get out much?

  63. Stasia

    I did not order the syphllis scallops. I want my money back.

  64. Jinno

    Comic Sans?!?! NUUUUUUU!!!

  65. Jon

    Ah, Cheesybeards. The only place to take a date you want to break up with.

  66. Kim

    Guy with hook = bad with kids…

    My kid kept crying and saying that she wished Peter Pan would save her.

    Thank Davy Jones for the Cosmos – otherwise don’t know how I would have survived!

    Avoid the Aarghburger – because you will be ARGHing later. Argh.

  67. Gnomist Paladin

    I visited Cheesy Beards a few years ago on my way to a casting call for a new show called “The Guild.” Sadly, the plague-ridden “food” they served kept me in the hospital until only recently. Does anyone know whether that redhead’s show was any good?

  68. D3vilslilSis

    Can’t wait till my 21st birthday, totally coming to Cheesey Beards for some cosmos to celebrate!

  69. Jackie

    Oh dear God! DON’T tell me that this is COMIC SANS?! (Are you insane?!)

    Anyways, despite my severe dissatisfaction with the website (I hope you don’t lose your job for that comment), I thought that the food was rather… edible. But could I recommend firing that waitress? She’s getting all up in my grill, yo!

  70. Nienista

    Your food made my hair fall out and killed my dog. I am getting a lawyer.

  71. Personwhois

    D= What’s wrong with the font?

    I personally love Comic Sans it has kept me company through my many rants of dorkyness.

  72. Zilkyn

    It smells like feet and eggs in this joint.

  73. MOO

    Can you please hire better looking help? Maybe some wenches, because I hate ugly women when I am not drunk.

  74. Axelraud

    I hear the food at this place has a higher than average chance of food poisoning. However, this is third hand information because I dare not attempt to digest that “food.”

  75. Ray Yu

    Holy crap, site made in the 90s? A guestbook?!!! What’s next? Downloadable cursors? All centered web pages? Under construction signs? Animated GIFs?

    Oh well, at least it’s updated with social media buttons.

  76. Amber

    I really enjoyed the show for dinner. When the guys showed up and had another guy hiding literally “walk the plank” Sure, you’re not on a ship and they used the roof as the ship. And there was no water for the guy to land in. But the flailing as he hit, perfect. I actually believed for a moment he was drowning!

    Of course, the waitress said you guys didn’t do dinner shows, but I’m betting the ‘not in the know’ act really adds to the show!
    Keep it up!
    (And really get your plank walking actor checked out…he still hadn’t gotten up as I was leaving. Kind of worried about him.)

  77. Jon

    The food tastes like death. Yum!

  78. Andremthefoozle

    Ohh Cheesy Beards, how I one day plan to make a drunken decision and come eat your food. I’m sure it’ll taste better that way, all things do.

  79. Laura P.

    Who is that fry cook with the long hair? He is soooo totally hot and I totally want him. <3

  80. Emily L

    What a cute cook Cheesy Beards has. Just wanted to say that even though his food might not be…..well….edible, his looks and sharp zingers make up for his disastrous cooking. I will definitely be coming back to Cheesy Beards very soon and I’ll be sure to bring my Guild.

  81. Bob

    The fry cook put pubes in my burger!

  82. Sid

    hahah!! i have complaints about the bloke who is churning out those half burnt burgers..!!

  83. Benestravs

    The cucumber side was delicious <3

  84. Casey

    Where exactly are you located? I’m having a hard time pinning you down on Google Maps.

  85. Epilady

    The booty burrrrrgerrrr brought my honey and me back together. We met to give back our mix tapes after a bad breakup. Our rekindled romance began because our server left us alone so long we had to talk to one another. A few cosmos later, our fingers glistening with garrrrlic meat, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Out of that grease-fueled love night came our son, who we named Colby Bush in honor of his place of conception. Sorry about the spot on the floor, but it was so sticky we didn’t think you’d notice.

  86. Evelyn

    This is great I love this website I am favoriating it now, if you ever do any florida gigs let me know I would love to meet all of the cast. πŸ™‚ Also I will be bringing 75+ members from my guild to you’re place, I hope that it books you out!

  87. Dani

    Do you deliver for Brazil?

  88. Salty Mcfly

    Argggh! Came for the Garlic Fries, stayed for the atmosphere. My burger was a bit well done, but found the overall ambiance lively and engaging.

  89. shades of black

    I think the time stamp is wrong on here…12:18am morning of August 18.

  90. shades of black

    That would be CST

  91. Ringwrath

    Omg this is awesome…..

  92. Mr. Crabs

    Me hunk o’ meat was a wee bit crispy and the bun must have been been below decks for quite awhile, but shiver me timbers those gAAAARRRRRlic fries were tasty!

  93. Susan

    Oh,, I love you from your alphabetically listed Page links all the way to your proudly powered footer.

  94. Laura K.

    Do you guys cater? My daddy’s making my sister marry her boyfriend, and we thought that it might be fun to do it as a “walk the plank” ceremony instead of a “shotgun” wedding (because that is SO cliche!). Thanks!

  95. customer

    cheesy beards makes me poo.


  96. Bobathin

    This is so yummy. I really want some batter down the halibut.

  97. GrnDragon13

    great site. i had to check it out once i heard codex say the url lol

  98. Nostrathomas

    I love this establishment. It brings to mind Marvin’s smiling face from Stevens Point. And the issues that arise after eating the food are similar too. What is a poor college grad to do? Eat here, I guess. Shiver your timbers and come on over for a tasty bite!

  99. Joey

    Where are you located?

  100. CJ Jacobson

    This site just made my day. Great job Codex!
    Hope we can stop by Cheesy Beards sometime!

  101. Aubrey

    I ordered the Cracker, some Oranges, and a Side of Cucumber. What a unique restaurant… I might come back.

  102. Emily

    I love this place . . .unfortunately I’m nowhere near their current location . . .guess I’ll have to wait for the franchising rights and build one here πŸ™‚

  103. The Man In Mostly Back

    I would just like to inform you that my associates and I will be opening up an establishment across the street, in fact one could say a thousand of them!
    ps. loved the saucy wench(the meal not the annoying girl in the back who kept talking to herself)

  104. Cathy S.

    It’s a Yo Ho Ho from across the water in good ole Blighty!! When be ye openin’ over here then? I can almost smell them old garrrrrrrrrrlic fries from ‘ere me hearties!! I’ll be shiverin’ me timbers and polishin’ me hook in anticipation………..!!

  105. Beth

    Love me some Cheesy Beards!! Even if the price difference between a cheese burger and regular burger is a dollar!

    Also, they have a cute guy in the kitchen cookin’ it up. πŸ˜‰

  106. SolaceBlood

    X-D This is Great! “Im the rogue. Im the one whose supposed to be stabbing people in the back!” This show is quite entertaining!

  107. Voratus

    The waitstaff is horrible, though Cap’n Ollie is an alright salt. Glad you guys finally made it to the web. Welcome to the 90s.

  108. Sara

    I love you Cheesy Beards. c:

  109. Neriya

    Been a fan of supporting the local businesses for a long time now. I’m glad to see that Cheesy Beards has finally got a site up and running! I’d be happy to offer some coding tips and tricks if you are interested. Free of charge, of course. (I do take tips in garrrlic fries though!)

    All aboard the S.S. YumYum! Err, I mean, Yar! There be treasure here! Cheesy Beards off the starboard bow!

  110. Brent

    I’m pretty sure the red-head gave me Syphilis and Scallops once. It wasn’t bad but the go to meal is a burger with a side of garrrlic fries. Cheesy Beards is hands down the best pirate themed restaurant there is, great stuff.

  111. Justa Friendly Gal

    Keep up the good work Codex! Good to see that you have access to a computer again. n.n;

  112. Isthmus

    Lol, this is an awesome site, but I’m not sure about little errors like ,br> instead of .

  113. Red_haired_Ranger

    Hail to the Chef!
    Someone has to keep those scurvy-riddled maggots from rioting.

  114. Jenika

    i found a feathered hair in my burger… do i complain to the redhead in the office

  115. Oscar

    What the hell Cheesybeards?

    You should know that a tall girl (with a shoulder length brown haircut) employee of yours has been leaving boxes full of fliers in front of my garage for the past two months, she leaves said boxes open and it makes a huge mess, tell her STOP NOW! or else!

  116. Isthmus

    Awesome site thats easy to nav in, and it makes me laugh =D though I’m not sure about the little mistakes like ,br> instead of

  117. Isthmus
  118. Isthmus

    oh, the less than and greater than signs arnt working :S sorry for spamming.

  119. Huck

    Can i get two orders of “the redhead working in the back office.” delivered? How about TOGO?

  120. Johnny Corona

    Well. Having the runs for a week isn’t too bad i guess.

  121. Markus H

    I hate Cheesybeards. I treated my girlfriend to anything on the menu and she dumped me for the cucumber side dish.

    Use smaller cucumbers!

  122. geek.o


  123. Acharis

    Service could be better (hire ninjas) otherwise rad.

  124. Cittie

    Considering flying over from ireland to check this place out… and some fo the teh reviews seem pretty good… so see you in a month (I’m taking the boat!)

  125. Nalini

    Do you guys deliver? Im hungry but I have 5 raids this evening, my shaman needs the orb or nurr sooooo badly!!!

    (get that cute greasy guy in the back to deliver and I’ll tip an extra $)

  126. Andrew

    I got one peek at that sloppy teenage girl who works the fryers in the back and I left immediately. Please improve your hygiene standards for your employees…she looks like a greasy gamer boy.

  127. Katie Green

    WTT in-game gold for help fixing your HTML.

    Also, “salad” does not mean what you think it means.

  128. Pendragon

    This site is brilliant, from the fake typo’s ,BR> to the almost geocities look & feel.

    codex keep up the great work :o)

  129. Tom

    The burgers are tasteless, the staff are apathetic but the existence of this website has brightened my day πŸ™‚

  130. Xantera

    ROFL!!! This is awesome! so what comes next? Take away burnt offerings?

  131. Exile

    “Push the button when I do that”

  132. TheLadyBelladona

    The serving wenches were sub-par (I reccoment corsets to better show off the booty, and maybe a little less surlyness) but the food was alright. Just the right amount of garrrrrrlic on the garrrrrrlic fries. *nod*
    Would appreciate the ability to have my takeouts de;overd to New Zealand, and maybe include a toy in the box. I recomend the fry cook. Or the web designer, anyone who can make a site has to be good with their hands, right?

  133. Jusenkyo Wolfheart

    Love it! I would eat whatever they put in front of me (or at least try to with a smile on), just because of the awesomeness that is this site!

  134. Captain Saoirse Silverscale

    OOM, camping the Hand of Vecna. Can’t leave, or KSers will steal my spawn. Plz send Delivery Boy to summon us some Garrrrrrrrrlic Fries, and a 2-liter of cola?

  135. Matey

    The staff are dressed in pirate regalia; I go to Cheesy Beards at least once a week just in case the Flying Spaghetti Monster blesses the site with His noodley presence.

  136. Ad Mortis

    It’s a shame but not much of a selection for Vegetarians !!

  137. Nalut

    This place is amazing! I want the Garrrrrrrrrlic Fries! Hire a Delivery Boy pls

  138. celestialred

    Who needs the Subway diet when you have the Cheesybeards diet? I’ve lost 8 pounds in just 3 days from the dysentery. And I can eat all the gaaaaarlic fries I want! Truly, you are doing the Lord’s work.

  139. Bob


  140. Harry

    I completely mistook this place for some kind of butt-pirate establishment, so I was disappointed on arrival. Nevertheless, I sampled some cheese and it tasted ok, but you can get those slices much cheaper at a Supermarket. I recommend bringing your own cheese.

  141. dangergirl

    If you could offer veggie burgers I would be a Cheesybeards regular for sure! I will eat some of those garrrrrrlic fries though..

  142. XanthousNaomi

    This far into the comments there should definitely be two assholes having argument. Likely about politics, or race, or Hitler.

  143. Danixian

    I think Cheezy Beard spit in my Cosmo!

  144. Moi

    I’m not gonna lie, the side of cucumber was delicious.

  145. Kitty

    I think the fry cook should do deliveries too…he’s a hottie πŸ˜‰ I’d tip double. also the garrrrrlic fries are just perfect :D. Also the lovely red head girl in the bad has done an amazing job on this site, she should get a raise. Now back to farming for gold for an epic mount and healing dungeons on my druid.

  146. Jon

    I like the free wi-fi.

  147. Scott

    This is actually brilliant. :’D

  148. Vanessa

    Question about the “Limey Dog” – it’s… not really dog is it? The strange waiter with the hair net said something that implied that it was and we thought he was joking, but now I’m feeling concerned…

  149. Ryan

    I went there yesterday and this weird guy in a hairnet sprayed ketchup on me. I mauled him.

  150. Worried Patrick

    I went there once with my girlfriend. The fries were really greacy and the bacon in my Booty Burger only had fat, no meat. My girlfriend asked for a “Blackbeard’s Secret Recipe Chicken” and was very disgusted to find a chicken leg burrowed in her fries.

    I do not recommend this restaurant to anybody. I am not sure it follows the Health Code.

    Worried Patrick

  151. marybeth

    I heard the Cosmopolitans were good.

  152. Phiszer

    Just wondering if you guys can host a birthday party? And, if possible, have the webmistress of this site be the hostess for it?

  153. HbcDresden

    Three Sheeps to the Wind made me hopeful that I had found a wizardly hangout worthy of MacAnally’s Pub back in Chicago, but sadly it tasted like the air in my old apartment before I hired a cleaning service.

  154. Kris

    Bad service. Bad food. Interesting atmosphere and employees. The experience will stay with me for quite some time. Although the Dr. says that will clear up eventually.

  155. Mrs. Goldberg

    If that red-haired witch doesn’t leave my son alone, I’m filing a Board of Health complaint.

  156. La Pirate Chef

    Syphilis and Scallops in the starters looks like a real treat. πŸ™‚

  157. Penelope Le Pew

    I went to this restaurant before the new cook. It was awesome, but I had to agree with the neighboring table – the cost for cheese on my hamburger was outrageous! Also, on that day, I saw a ruckus you couldn’t believe. There was this angry woman, I overheard one of the others say “Mom” and then there was a flash and suddenly cheering. I just cheered to go along. Ah…good times. I will have to visit again when I’m visiting my guildies.

  158. Maddie

    COSMOS. End of story. The food… ehhh… who needs food when you have cosmos? They’re pretty tasty.

  159. RedPirateFan

    The Shiver Me Taters arrived at the table cold, but things heated up substantially when we saw that red-headed pirate in the back. Put her out front waiting tables and we might come back for another doze of salmonella.

  160. Allie M

    Love the pirate theme, but honestly the foods terrible.

  161. madicta

    Lovely place, I love the romantic atmosphere. I was there just the other day, and there was this nice young couple. They seemed to fight over something at first, but then the cook came by and they were kissing in no time! Oh, the cook took photos of them. Awwwwwwww cute!

    PS: Never trust the angry waittress! She ‘s awful

    PS2: Bring your own cheese for Christ sake! The price of the cheeseburger is a rip-off

  162. Marc

    I love the atmosphere. Everything on the menu is great. But the chefs special of the day featurung “Barnicle Shooters” and “Brine Salad” had me turning green and bending over the port side of my table. Next time I’ll just stick with the drinks.

  163. Orbenthal

    Hey codex, orbenthal here just wanted to check out the website. ill be stopping by the restaurant later!

  164. XavanQ

    Ok the “Walking the Flank”, flank steak was cooked so well done it was smooth and shiney. I thought about sendingit back, but after having a look at the cook decided it was best just to eat it. Verdict. Not to bad with ketchup. Lots of KETCHUP!

  165. Garbanzo Lamas

    Does the Cheesyburger have a name? He has an eye patch but no other eye! Are both eyes covered? Is he a cyclops? Do burgers even have eyes…?

  166. Skunkwaffle

    A bunch of us are coming in later to have a prepare to be loaded contest. I just hope that dude with the hairnet doesn’t mess them up like last time.

  167. Iovec

    Ummm.. who do I file a complaint with? I had ordered the Aarghburger with a side of Shiver Me Taters and ever since, I’m afraid the bilge pump just won’t work anymore. I think someone needs to contact the FDA, CDC, FBI, and anyone else with three or more initials in their job to seriously investigate what is happening over there. I have a strange suspicion that what is being served there is NOT FOOD. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if some nerd gamer was putting garbage on the grill just to get more time to flirt with the hot redhead in the back.

    But I digress… Please… don’t allow this to continue…

    Nice website, btw!

  168. Justice

    I’ve eaten at this establishment and the food was severely lacking in taste. Too much charred meat, and this is coming from a guy that loves the chars. I don’t know who’s in the kitchen, but he needs to get his crap straight if you want this place to succeed. The whole pirate theme is awesome, ninjas be damned.

    Maybe, if I pass trough again, I’ll show you a thing or two about making a proper burger.

  169. Tiffany

    Hey, Isn’t that Finn Smulders working in the kitchen? My little sister goes to school with him or something, pretty sure they made him walk the plank there………must be how he ended up at the ‘Beard

  170. Palmer

    As long as you keep serving Garrrrrrrrrlic Fries, I’ll be forever loyal.

  171. Gray


  172. SusanB

    Add some free Wi-Fi to the place, and you *could* see an incarease of customers. Could Wednesday night be Half-Price-Raids night? Just a thought……

  173. Bente

    “Syphilis and Scallops” sure looks tempting…

  174. xwarrior39

    I could really use some Garrrrrrrlic fries right now.

  175. Aerron

    I got scurvy, rickets, and hepatitis C here! DO NOT EAT at Crappy-Beards! This place serves rat burgers and pigeon sandwiches! AVOID CRAPPY-BEARDS AT ALL COSTS!

  176. Master Chief

    After sampling “The Dark Sea”
    …I question if that is pudding or the remains of someone’s “Blackbeard’s Secret Recipe Chicken”
    Either way.. I don’t recommend it…

  177. Arbiter

    Chief, Are you instigating that Cheesy Beards recycles from “the head”?

  178. Master Chief

    @Arby.. I believe you are misusing the word instigate.. but yes.. yes I am…

  179. Cat Osbourne

    Aerron, ye got Hep C from the saucy waitress wench, didn’t ya?

  180. Jakolantrn

    I’m going to feel stupid for asking this… but what does “the head” mean?

  181. K'Shenya


    Some ideas to get more customers:
    1. Have the angry, uppity waitress wench cook. That feather-haired kid sure can’t–I’m pretty sure he’s not paying attention to what he’s doing, and nobody likes eating charcoal.
    2. Have feather-haired kid and that saucy redheaded wench waitress in pirate costumes.
    3. Get free wi-fi for your customers.
    4. Have hours that are more regular. Your current ones are bizarrrrgh.

    The Garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlic Fries are okay if they ever make it out to you warm. The Cosmos and Rum are the best things there though. Don’t order the Saucy Wench ever…I swear it’s cardboard covered in a you-don’t want to know sauce. And the syphilis and scallops=instant trip to the ER.

  182. Arbiter

    @ Jakolantrn: “The Head” of a ship is the toilet

  183. Arg!

    You guys have AWESOME Burgers.

  184. Yalith

    Aaaarguably the best fries EVAR! And I completely agree with the poster who said corsets should be used on all serving wenches.

  185. JC

    Do you serve BP in oil? That’s Barnacle Pie

  186. MrDave

    I haven’t had grub that good since the last time I sailed out on a tramp freighter to Singapore. Thanks Ollie for making me miss my days at sea!

  187. Jim Hawkins

    I am in Cleveland and wish that we had a Cheesy Beards here, it could specialize in the bounty of Lake Erie. Also, Cyd, a contest would be a sure-fire way to boost sales at Cheesy Beards. First prize could be a $20 gift certificate and second prize could be a $50 gift certificate. Hope this helps.

  188. Carrie J.

    I would like say that, I love this. 1. Pirates are way better then anything, besides Epic loot. and 2. Because my first answer was good enough to say twice.

    Sidenote, I love the show. Watch it religiously, and its so much like my own guild in a way, it’s scary!

  189. Old Peg-Leg

    After eating that this place I was on the Poop deck all night with an almighty Argh!!!!, ye be warned.

  190. Thais

    The pictures are too tiny and not a lot of items have them.. :/ also, what’s up with the dessert section? 1 item? WTF font site is that “Open Days” column, I need 4 reading glasses to read that!
    Who did you get to create your site? Some kid from middle school that plays games all day and decided to puke this up on the net?
    BTW, here is an idea, GET A COOK. I’ll have sand and rocks in boiled water before eating your signature burg. And yeah, I took the beads. They were the only thing worth a crap in that platter.

  191. Cfood

    I still can’t decide if I’m disappointed in myself or just amused at the fact I would like to dine in an establishment entitled “Cheesy Beards” at least once in my life.

    Sign me up for some Scurvy Fries and Oranges!

    3 cheers for The Guild! (Some assembly/performance required)

  192. Barb

    I was just at Cheesy Beards and I was the only one there except for three little kids running around the tables. One of them was playing with one of those glasses that the Cosmos come in, and another was eating chewed gum from the tables. Umm… does anyone know where their mother is? I think one of the waitresses was keeping an eye on them…

  193. Elwood Blues

    All I wanted was some dry white toast, but instead I got a single cracker. When it comes back on the menu, I think I’ll bring my brother with me and order a bottle of your finest champagne, five shrimp cocktails and (try again for) a double order of white toast.

  194. Coral C.

    Dining @CheezyBeards takes me back to the time I spent as a wench on an air craft carrier in the Navy. Lots of squids, syphilis and soggy dogs. The Pu-Pu deck platter tastes like it’s name.
    Plus/Minus….doesn’t matter…I’ll be back.

  195. Captain Spongebob

    This site needs some a little work on aesthetic structure. Fix your hours. Fix your cooking. Send out some coupons. Voila. You’re a millionaire.

  196. amu

    Why would I ever want to eat Syphilis and Scallops. An STD? For an appetizer? It makes me scared to even look at any of the main dishes.

    This website was very helpful. Now I know to NEVER eat here (although I do hear the fry-cook is cute).

  197. White Night

    Wow i think i pooped out a cannon ball, either that was from eating at cheesey beards or from a wild night i dont really remember 2 days ago :S either way….STAY AWAY!

  198. VeeQt

    Next time I’m in the area I’ll be sure to not stop by! Unless you tweet me a coupon or something.

  199. Soma


    your eye patch was on the wrong side today.

  200. Christoph Voss

    In Syphilis and Scallops…. are the scallops hookers?

  201. Patchy the Pirate

    What are you doing on Thursdays between 5 and 8:30 pm? Raiding?

  202. Wiz

    Fire the cook. Anyone can make a burger better than that.

  203. qimster

    Uhhhh what’s with the weird hours? It’s like the people there have better things to do at night on Tuesday especially! What happened to the sad looking hostess – haven’t seen her in a while?

  204. Mavair

    Yarr? Bladezz broke twitt! And Cyd did the website! And Vork advertised Cheese Gougers! Gotta try some food of of yours sometime… or try to do it in my microwave…

  205. Barnacle Betty

    your Comic Sans makes me want to eat the Syphillis & Scallops! But the cucumber side was useful for beating off the rats! so I rate your restaurant 8 out of 10. Better than Mc D’s

  206. Disappointed Potential Customer

    Dear Cheesy Beards,

    I just wanted to let you know that I searched for hours all over Los Angeles trying to find your establishment and could not locate any restaurant with a name remotely similar to “Cheesy Beards”. Are you sure you exist?

  207. AnubisibunA

    Who do I have to hornswaggle to see about holding my reception dinner here? I’m worried about bringing the kids though, as you’re rated ARRRRRRRRR!

  208. Julie

    Give the sleepy looking feather haired kid my phone number!

  209. Stay-at-home Mommy

    Do you think you could have a play area for kids? Or is it only that plank I saw 3 little kids playing on the other day?

    Great job Cyd! But the web site needs a little more work! πŸ˜‰

  210. MistrustLoon

    Damn…. too early for breakfast. Do you deliver? To the Washington DC area?

  211. Keith Lawler

    It was awful….

    I’m posting here because to never gave me the t-shirt to keep me quiet.

    …but keep the girl who does the website, she’s nice.

  212. Motafina

    The Syphilis and Scallops is to die for!!!!!!!!!!!!

  213. BellaDonna

    I don’t know what everyone’s complaining about. My Crabs Ahoy was divine! I snacked on crabs for days after eating there.

  214. Mike

    You know is empty right? It would probably get you more viewers than .info… at least use .net or ca, there free too.

  215. Ren Corvus

    My friend wasn’t brave enough to write this review so I’ll write it for her and throw in my two/three cents intermittently… she told me that she remembered when Cheesybeards “used to be a wicked cool place to hang out.” And then she says, and I quote “Then all these socially challenged people who couldn’t find anything to talk about besides this this thing called ‘the Game’ started showing up briging their own cheese packets…I mean seriously…WTF” . Personally, unlike her, I don’t have an issue with “the Game” as I play a Fighter in it myself. However, if the clientele have been reduced to the “Gaming” crowd, I must be honest, we are too busy raiding to come into the joint most of the time. My friend also told me to say that she thinks “the creepy bald guy with the cheese packet scared the other regular customers off”. My oen opinion is that the new pimplehead chef might have something to do with it as well….just a thought…

  216. Kuon

    I liked how my burger came served on little peg legs πŸ™‚
    Even though the peg legs were tastier than the burger πŸ™

  217. Kristen W

    Cheesy Beards is the classiest place, I want to get married there someday.

  218. Arthas

    Burger was waaay over cooked, i was pissed so i screwed the cooks mom; i am however interested in purchasing the girl in bak

  219. Dean

    Liked the food, but now I smell like Garlic Fries.

  220. Dave S

    Thanks for adding a link to the BBB right from this page! So convenient.

  221. Jill Ion

    Ahoy! Arrrrgh! This Comic Sans font is making me more nauseous than the Giant Squid! First, the Giant Squid was actually Average-Sized Squid and that weird teenager galley mate was giving my food the stink-eye. Arrrrgh!

    The side of cucumber was quite delicious – firm, fresh, without a hint of bitterness. Unlike my life! Arrrrgh!

  222. Dean

    You haven’t really lived till you try the Giant Squid Salad. I laughed. I cried. Now it’s part of me.

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